dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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