Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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