Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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