With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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