I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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