i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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