Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
