some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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