last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
