Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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