I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
