just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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