I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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