Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
