Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
