Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
