I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
