insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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