Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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