i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
