we have officially lost it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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