at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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