Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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