I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
