Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
