She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
