Can Purell be used as lube?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
