chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
