Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
