oh god the rape fog is back!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
