so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
