I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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