oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
