At least make sure they are 18
Why
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
