I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
