I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
