If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
