Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
