i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
