She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
