It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You've changed since you got that strap on
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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