i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
