It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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