Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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