VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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