i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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