Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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