You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
