Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
