I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
wow bdsm is so cute
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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